“Happiness is a choice.”
An affirmation often heard in our society.
Never gave it much serious thought and
assumed it held some value,
given that –
many elders, friends, and public figures
often advocated for it.
Not long ago,
my mother was contemplating that happiness is a choice and
asked for my views on it.
I could not give a straightforward answer,
which prompted me to contemplate
this age-old platitude more deeply —
to see whether it truly holds any truth or value.
Before we delve further,
let us reflect on something more relevant –
Our Choices!
Does one genuinely have a choice in life when it comes to happiness?
Does one ever consciously choose something other than
happiness for ourselves?
In any given situation,
with whatever intelligence one possesses,
one always chooses what seems best for him.
From selecting an ice-cream flavour to
choosing a partner or profession.
Most of the choices revolve around one’s own happiness
and interests –
even when one feels their decision was influenced by
family or society.
As a wise man once said, “A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.”
If happiness is a choice,
and one is always choosing happiness,
then why are people not consistently happy?
or at least happy to a greater degree.
Ideally, one should be,
if that is the choice he has made.
But we all know this is not reality.
A sincere reflection on our own lives reveals this truth.
A man’s internal world,
from dawn to dusk
is shaped by the quality of our thoughts –
and these thoughts largely influence how one lives each day.
Conflicting emotions of sadness and sorrow often
outnumber those of happiness and joy.
Regrets of the past and rehearsals of future events
fill the minds with anxiety.
This is how most live each day.
My friend truth is,
human beings always act from the centre of self.
Acting otherwise is beyond conscious control.
In essence, one is inherently inclined to choose happiness
in any given moment.
To believe otherwise,
shall only invite more chaos and misery.
Perhaps a more relevant question to ask is not
“Is happiness a choice?” but rather –
“Why one is always choosing and chasing happiness?”
The answer lies in the insight of Gautama Buddha teachings –
“Life, in its essence, is suffering.”
Conditioned Mind, restless by nature,
constantly seeks to escape from this suffering,
longing endless for the opposite,
which is — happiness!
Money and position
do alleviate pain that arises from
poverty, social injustice and
provide comfort to daily life.
However,
problems of mind spares no one my friend,
regardless of wealth, intellect, or status.
If someone claims to live a life free of problems,
is either living an unexamined life,
have found ways to supressed them or
are simply managing them.
One may arrive at something more
tangible and insightful,
if they explores the root of their problems and conflicts,
rather than engaging in a blind, endless
pursuit of happiness –
a pursuit that lacks the depth to lead one anywhere.
Yes, happiness can be a choice,
but only for those,
who are serious enough –
to make a choice to uncover the very source of their unhappiness.
Otherwise, the chase remains just that —
a chase, without ever arriving.
Sathya